The Time Machine ('78)

The second film adaptation of H.G. Wells’ novel was a made-for-television movie that appeared as part of ABC’s “Classics Illustrated” series. Normally, television movies are outside of the scope of this study, but this TM makes a handy bridge between the George Pal film of 1960 and the 2002 version. John Beck stars as the Time Traveler, this time named Neil Perry. Priscilla Barns plays Weena. As with the other film adaptations, there were some liberties were taken, some contemporary spin applied and yet some faithfulness to Wells’ original.

Quick Plot Synopsis
A Russian satellite malfunctions and begins to fall to the earth. Mega Corporation’s untried anti-missile missile is ordered deployed to intercept the radioactive satellite before it hit’s LA. Dashing, liesure-suited Neil Perry rushes in with his pocket calculator to correct the missile’s course. LA is saved. Mega Corp is happy, but wants to know what Neil spent 20 million dollars on. He shows them his time machine prototype. The Mega Corp brass are unimpressed and cancel his project, come Monday. Since it’s Friday, Neil decides to test his machine to give them proof. He goes back in the past to 1692 and his accused of being a witch in Salem. He escapes to the American west in the middle 1800s. He is pursued as a claim-jumping criminal. Returning to 1978, a coworkers shows him how mankind is doomed soon, due to atomic mismanagement. Neil travels forward in time to learn what happens, but goes too far. He sees nuclear explosions and a barren landscape. Then he sees trees regrow. He stops. Behind him are big bronze doors. He encounters the Eloi and meets Weena, all of whom speak 20th century American english. Weena shows him their museum, which has “old” weapons on display, including the Death Ray pistol which Mega Corp wanted him to develop. He plays some video tapes to learn the fate of mankind and nuclear armageddon. That night, the Morlocks break into the Eloi building and capture several, including Weena’s brother Ariel. Neil ventures into the Morlock underworld to rescue the captives. He finds them, and they all escape. Neil gets the idea to use some C4, on display in the museum, to seal up the Morlock tunnels. He mounts an expedition to plant the explosives. This eventually works, with the Eloi escaping and Neil finding his machine. He narrowly escapes the angry Morlocks by returning to 1978. The Mega Corp Chairman wants to exploit the Time Machine for financial gain. Neil escapes in his machine, to return to Weena. The End.

Why is this movie fun?
Wells’ novel is fascinating, so adaptations of it are bound to inherit at least a little of that fascination. The deviations from the book are amusing as windows into the late 70s mind. Priscilla Barns makes a very desirable Weena. Less vacuous than TM60’s Weena and less noble-savage than TM2002’s “Mara”.

Cold War Angle
While the Cold War as motivator for contemporaneous sci-fi, had fallen out of fashion, it was evident (in spades) in TM78. Repeating the Cold War moralizing of TM60, it is nuclear holocaust that wipes out mankind as we know it. The fear-filled notion of super bombs lives on in the dreaded Anti-Matter Bomb which Mega Corp wanted Neil to develop and which the recordings blame for the global devastation. TM78 lays the blame squarely on the steps of the Military-Industrial Complex.

Notes
Deviations from the Book — None of the three english-speaking adaptations follow Wells’ book faithfully. Detailed deviations would be too tediously long. Brieflh: TM60 and TM2002 add intermediate stops in the future before reading Weena’s time. TM78 added a couple stops in the past too. All three deviate in Hollywood fashion in making Weena more of a love interest and allowing happy endings where the traveler and Weena are reunited. In the book, she dies.

Hall of Knowledge — Wells’ novel had a Palace of Green Porcelain, which was a derelict museum. It told no particular backstory, but did supply the Traveler with additional matches and a club for a weapon. TM60 has a museum, but added the “talking rings” as a plot device to tell backstory. TM78 repeated the hall of knowledge, but upgraded the audio to video tape to fill in the backstory on what happened to mankind. TM2002 took the Hall of Knowledge video notion from TM78, and expanded it in the form of a snarky virtual librarian.

Fashionably Pacifist — One of the very 70s features of TM78, is the flagrantly anti-war message in the Hall of Knowledge. On display are weapons of war, over which Neil can opine: “Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to preserve the weapons of history. Perhaps as a tragic reminder of how Our history has a way of repeating itself. As always, there are the innocent victims, like Weena.” Neil gets a personal guilt trip for finding that his Death Ray is among the weapons. Bad military-industrial-scientist, Bad. Undermining the moralizing, is how Neil uses the museum’s explosives to save Eloi from the evil Morlocks. That would be the very sorts of reasons weapons have always existed — to save ‘good people’ from the ‘bad people.’

Smug Modernism — An amusing (or infuriating, depending on one’s demeanor) is how TM78 uses trite historical stereotypes to (a) pad out the run time and (b) that modern people are smarter/better. The first is the witch trial scene. This is a favorite of smug modernists. The real history is smaller and less tyrannical. Ah, but that doesn’t sell. The "gold rush" western scene perpetuates the handy stereotype that in the crude “olden days” everyone was armed with 30-30 Winchesters or Six-guns and regularly shot each other up for the slightest of provocations (if any). Of course, recycling old costumes and sets was a way to stretch the run time on a budget.

Time And Distance — Where TM60 and TM2002 were careful to keep Wells’ notion of traveling through time, not space, TM78 is not careful at all. Neil leaves his military-industrial-lab in Los Angeles, but appears in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. He then appears in the west (the Dakotas?) in the 1800s. Neil’s machine was, apparently, able to home in on a place (his lab) as well as a time.

Car Nuts — Fans of obscure automotive trivia will be delighted at seeing a CitiCar on display in the Hall of Knowledge. This all-electric mini-car was a response to the gas crisis of the mid-70s. A glorified golf-cart, the CitiCar was nevertheless America’s most mass-produced (modern) electric car until Tesla came on the scene. Weak performance and the easing of the gas crisis doomed CitiCar to obscurity. Nowadays, it is a museum item.

Similar Endings — All three TMs end with the time traveler’s friend, musing with the time traveler’s female worker. In TM60, she’s the housekeeper. In TM78, she’s his secretary. In TM2002, she’s a housekeeper again. In all three, the friend gets to sign off with some time-related witticism. in TM78, the friend says, “Time is on his side.”

Bottom line? TM78 is obscure, but exists in YouTube form. Fans of TM60 may be amused at the 70s remake in 70s flavors (Burnt Orange and Avacado Green). TM78 is a neat bridge between TM60 and TM2002. A fun night (for ardent TM fans) would be a triple feature of the three. TM78 isn’t amazing or better than TM60 or TM2002. It is the poorer cousin, if anything. Still, it has its amusements.
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Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Phillip Kaufman directs this 1978 remake of the original, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (IBS78). Donald Sutherland plays the lead character, also named Bennell. Brooke Adams plays his love interest. Jeff Goldblum and Veronica Cartwright play the “other couple”, the Bellicecs. W.D. Richter’s screenplay follows the ’56 story fairly closely (good for fans of IBS56), but adds some 70s flavor and fills a few plot holes from the original. The setting is downtown San Francisco and the Haight-Ashbury suburb, not the small town of Santa Mira.

Quick Plot Synopsis
From a distant planet, transparent balloon-like “spores” rise up into space. A “solar wind” blows them past several planets until they come to Earth. They fall with the rain and take root on plants around San Francisco. Elizabeth picks on of the odd little pods with a pink flower and brings it home. When she wakes up, her boyfriend has changed. She follows him as he meets with many strangers. She tells her boss, Matthew. He suggests she talk to a friend, Dr. Kibner, a pop-psychologist. En route to a book signing party, a man runs up to the car raving about how “they” are coming to get them. He runs away and his hit by a car. The police have no record of the event. At the party, Kibner poo-poohs reports of people changing. At Jack and Nancy’s mud bath spa, they find a partially developed pod person. It begins to resemble Jack. There is much freaking out. When the police come, there is no body. Kibner, who is a pod-person by now, tells them all to go to Matthew’s and get some rest. They all nod off. Pods disgorge copies of the four. Nancy wakes everyone on in time. They flee, after Matthew hacks up his pod-copy. As the crowd and authorities gain on them, Jack and Nancy split off to draw them away. Matthew and Elizabeth sneak up to his office. From there, they can see lines of people getting pods from trucks, and pods being loaded onto trucks. They realize that they must stay awake, so take several “speed” pills. They evade some searches, but are found by Kibner, pod-Jack and Geoffrey. Kibner gives them injections of a sedative to make them sleep. After a bit of monologuing about spores coming from a dying world and how being a pod is a good thing, Matthew fights back. He and Elizabeth escape and pretend to be pod-people. A dog with a man’s face makes Elizabeth scream, so the crowd shriek the awful pod shriek and purse them. They escape in the back of a truck. The truck brings them to a pod-growing factory. They hide in the tall grass outside. Elizabeth cannot stay awake any longer. While Matthew holds her close to him, her body crumbles away. Naked pod-Elizabeth stands up in the grass. Matthew runs into the factory and starts chopping down light fixtures. This starts fires on the pod-growing floor. Pod-Liz spots him, points and pod-shrieks. A chase ensues. Fade to black. Fade in to Matthew and Elizabeth working in the office in stoic fashion. At quitting time, all the pod-employees walk out. While Matthew walks in a bleak courtyard of city hall. Nancy calls to him. She has evaded pod-ification all this time. Matthew points at her and shrieks the awful pod-shriek. Zoom in to black. Roll silent credits. The End.

Why is this movie fun?
The script of IBS78 follows that of IBS56, so much of the original tension and suspense of the original still works. The pod-shriek is effective (and chilling). The actors do a fine job with their roles. Sutherland and Adams make a sympathetic couple. Veronica Cartwright’s Nancy is a fun character and very 70s. The many little visual touches add to the experience.

Cultural Connection
Boomer Bogeyman — The original film was released amid great angst over communism and/or its opposite, McCarthyism. Loss of the “American Way of Life”, small town charm, apple pie, love, laughter, etc. were what the adults of the “Greatest Generation” and young adults of the “Silent Generation” worried about. For them, IBS56 captured their fears of losing the America they knew — the intimacy and friendliness of small town Americana. Fast forward to 1978, and communist infiltrators and loss of small-town charm were not big concerns. The audiences in 1978 were the Baby Boomers. They grew up with a more urbane mindset, hence setting IBS78 in San Francisco, Haight-Ashbury and the whole “summer of love” implications. They grew up through the 60s with the narcissism of youth. “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” Trouble was, the early Boomers were doing just that. For the flower children of free love and peace signs, the relentless march of time was turning them into middle-aged adults. For the Boomers, turning into boring adults was a terror to send them running and screaming.

Notes
Popular Pods — Finney’s 1954 novel has spawned four films directly, and influenced several. The 1956 version, starring Kevin McCarthy and Dana Winters is often considered the best. IBS78 is a very faithful remake of the ’56 version, using many of the same characters and names, though tweaked a bit. The 1993 version, Body Snatchers, uses the trope of pod-replacements, but in a new setting with new characters. The 2007 version, Invasion, uses yet other new characters and a new location. Each has its fans. Finney’s Pod People is a metaphor that resonates across several generations. Each generation (Gen X, Millenials, etc.) seems to have their own zeitgeist bogeyman.

Skewed Views — As a bit of visual art, director Phillip Kaufman gives the viewer many visuals to symbolize how “wrong” things look to the characters. Note Matthew’s broken windshield and the many views of the city through it. The world as they knew it was shattered. Note the odd “fun house” mirrors at the book signing party. The distorted reflections. People don’t look the same. Kaufman makes frequent use of the old standard tilted-camera, as well as several times people pass behind semi-transparent barriers (shower curtains, pebbled glass, etc.) such that you know someone is there, but they are undefined.

Filling Holes — IBS78 attempted to fill some of the plot holes from IBS56. How did they get there? IBS56 did not dwell much (at all) on how the pods got to earth, or what their intent was. They just were. IBS78 fixed that by more obviously showing the spores leaving a planet and coming to earth. Kibner’s small monologue about fleeing a dying world, adds a bit more, which Finney’s novel had, but IBS56 did not. What happened to the original bodies? IBS78 shows us that the originals crumble into small piles of rubble. Note the red trash trucks that appear after each pod-ification. Usually, small boxes or bundles are being tossed in. The rubble of the originals. In IBS56, the pod-ified all show up fully clothed, even though their semi-formed pod bodies are naked. That was the 50s and the Hayes Code. IBS78 “fixed” that by showing the audience a naked Elizabeth. Granted, it was also a very trendy thing in 70s film to include some frontal nudity — just because they could. But it did fill an old plot hole, AND it was far nicer to show a naked Brooke Adams than a naked Leonard Nimoy, for example.

Dour Ending — Finney’s novel had an upbeat ending. The aliens decide to abandon their invasion and leave Earth. This was in line with the 50s model — a scary fate, yet seeds of hope. Daniel Mainwaring’s script for the 1956 film changed that, such that the pods win. The studio is said to have urged that they change it to an upbeat ending. So, in the final film, Miles makes it to safety and tells his tale. Richter’s screenplay for IBS78 recreates the dour ending. The pods win. The 70s was much more comfortable wallowing in gloom and doom, so it was better accepted. And besides, all those Boomers were going to get older, no matter how much they fought it. They could not escape middle-age by running and hiding. Their youth was doomed too.

Adults Are Boring — The Geoffrey character is the most overt example of the underlying zeitgeist angst. (See Connections above) He encapsulates the “horrible” fate that the young, free-spirited characters fear — becoming a boring, responsible adult. Before being pod-ified, Geoffrey has tousled hair, likes to watch basketball games on TV, wears shorts and t-shirts, and is openly libidinous. After his change, his hair is combed neatly, he wears a 3-piece suit (trendy in the late 70s), shows no amorous interest in Elizabeth and watches clocks on television. CLOCKS. This latter part seems symbolic and telling — a kids’ view of what adults are like. Bor-ing.

Not Feelin’ the Love — Like in Orwell’s 1984, the main characters are rebels against The System, and fall in love. Both are “broken” by the system. Afterward, they see each other again, but are passionless towards each other. Kibner exposits that in the Pod People world, there is no hate, or love. People just have their jobs to do.

Fun Cameos — Just for fun, and a sense of homage to the original, Kevin McCarthy gets to be his original character, Dr. Miles Bennell in IBS78. He’s the frantic man who pounds on Matthew’s car windows telling him that “They” are coming and that “You’re next.” It's like he survived the first attempted invasion, only to be lost to the second. Also, look for Don Siegel, director of IBS56, playing the cab driver as Matthew and Elizabeth are trying to get to the airport.

Bottom line? IBS78 is a fairly faithful update/remake of the original. It keeps much of the sense of paranoia. Yes, it is ‘updated’ for a 70s audience. Some dislike this, others like it. Later re-remakes would have their detractors and fans too. Yet, even fans who prefer the ’56 original, are generally accepting of IBS78. Even people who are not fans of sci-fi should watch IBS(56 and 78). As a cultural metaphor, IBS is worth watching.

Capricorn One

Peter Hyams wrote and directed Capricorn One (C1). It would be the big budget sci-fi movie for 1978. This, in stark contrast to the field of low-budget and marginal indie films that ’78 had seen thus far. The cast of C1 are recognized names in the 70s film world. James Brolin plays the lead as astronaut Charles Brubaker. Brenda Vaccaro plays his wife. Elliot Gould plays the persistent news reporter. Hal Holbrook plays the middle man between the astronauts and the sinister plot. C1 was a major studio effort, and did okay, but a bit “old school”. It became culturally overshadowed by Star Wars and the new-think of sci-fi.

Quick Plot Synopsis
With the usual techno-blather and ceremony, the three astronauts of Capricorn One are loaded into their capsule for man’s first manned mission to Mars. At T-minus-10 minutes, Flight Director Jim Kelloway ushers the men out of the capsule, and into a waiting Lear Jet. The rocket takes off without them. The three, Brubaker, Willis and Walker (OJ Simpson) are taken to an abandoned air base. They are told that the life support system for Capricorn One was faulty — the product of lowest-bid corporate corner cutting. They would have been dead in two weeks. But, if the mission was scrubbed, NASA would lose funding, so the mission will be faked. Jim shows them a sound state with a landing module on a fake Mars set. Jim asks them to cooperate for the good of the program, and hints that their families might die if they do not. They cooperate. They fake transmissions en route. Elliot, tech in Houston ,keeps noticing that the transmissions arrive too soon, like they’re only coming from 300 miles away, not millions of miles away. His observation is brushed aside by his bosses. Elliot starts to tell his reporter friend Robert about the odd vibes, but Elliot disappears without a trace. The landing is faked. Everyone applauds the success. In a homebound transmission, Brubaker gives his wife an insider hint by mistakenly saying they vacationed at Yosemite. Meanwhile, the re-entry is said to have failed and all three died instantly. Brubaker figures the new storyline out, and realizes that they will be killed to keep the secret. So, they escape in the Lear Jet. Trouble is, it had very little fuel. They belly land only a few dozen miles away, in the desert. Robert noticed Kay’s reaction to the Yosemite comment and asks her. She said they vacationed at Flat Rock — a western movie set, with comments about how ‘they’ can fake anything. Robert then realizes the mission was faked. Taking Elliot’s comment about 300 miles, he locates the only abandoned base in range. He finds evidence of the faking. Meanwhile, Brubaker, Willis and Walker have split up to go different directions. Jim sent a pair of killer helicopters to hunt them down. They find Walker first, then Willis. The helicopters locate Brubaker too, but Robert arrives in a crop-dusting plane her hired (Telly Savalas as the owner/pilot) They get Brubaker up on a wing and flee. The helicopters pursue. Through fancy flying, Telly evades the helicopters’ machine guns. He blinds them with crop dust. They crash into a cliff. At a grave-side memorial service for Brubaker, he and Robert drive up and run in slow motion as the astonished crowd turn to see. Freeze frame on happy Brubaker. The End.

Why is this movie fun?
Setting aside the tinfoil hat aspect, C1 is well written and well presented story. Hyams does an excellent job with the visuals. The aerial chase is quite captivating. The acting is quite good too — OJ being the exception.

Cultural Connection
Conspiracy Theories — Two books were published, one in 1974, another in 1976, claiming that the Apollo landings on the moon had been faked. In the wake of the failure in Vietnam and the Watergate Scandal, cultural trust in government was at an epic low. Other films in the 70s, such as The Andromeda Strain and The Resurrection of Zachary Taylor, explored the government conspiracy trope. The broad tar brush assumed that if the government lied about somethings, that everything they said was a lie too. As such, Hyam’s 1978 story about a faked mission — which looked a lot like an Apollo mission — found a willing audience and added fuel to the fake moon landing theories.

Notes
Dual Villains — The double villains in the story are the government (naturally), but also the corporate-industrial-complex that depends on government funding. The two together, in a sort of dark symbiosis, perpetuate a lie in order to keep the money flowing. The problem, as explained by Jim, is that the public (the real source of the money) loses interest in programs. Public tolerance for big budgets (and therefore big taxes) wanes. So, in a mixture of Bread and Circus and The Matrix, the industrial complex and the politicians fabricate popular lies. Sensitivity to this dual-villain-hood is alive and strong, even today — 40 years later.

Mechanical Bloodhounds — An excellent touch by Hyams is how he handles the two Hughes 500 helicopters sent to track down the three escaped astronauts. Note how Hyams has them turn to “face each other” periodically, as if they were living beings consulting each other. This makes them seem almost alive themselves, like mechanical bloodhounds, rather in the way Spielberg made the greasy tanker truck become the villain in Duel, and not so much the truck driver. In reality, the two choppers are dozens of yards apart and facing in opposite directions, but with the long lens and tight shot, they appear to be looking in each others’ eyes. It’s a very effective move.

Fake vs. Reality — Hyams’ script plays with the notion of illusion vs. truth, as the broader theme of the movie, but also in many little vignettes throughout. For example, Robert is (apparently) always using lie-stories to try to seduce Judy. She always rebuffs him as a fake. “Why don’t you just be honest?” she asks. She is more attracted when he is sincere (and not just out to seduce her). “You’re less obnoxious when you’re helpless.” Note how Robert and his editor keep seeing their reality as a reflection of old movies. Reality mimics the fake. The obvious one, is the Brubaker vacation to Flat Rock where they watched a western being filmed. “How something so fake could look so real. With that kind of technology, you could convince people of almost anything.” While this applies to C1 directly, it applies to all movies. The amusing irony being that C1 is also a movie. The faked landing conspiracy in C1 is, itself, a fake — and yet so hungrily believed (by some) to be truth.

Plane Crazy — Aircraft fans can relish the co-starring effect the two Hughes 500 helicopters get. The aerial dual with Albain’s red Stearman 75 is great fun to watch. The Learjet 24 gets good coverage too. Note how the director staged the shots for the belly landing. Lots of dust is kicked up, but the foreground sagebrush conceals that the gear is down for a regular landing. The budget would not support destroying a Learjet. For that matter, the two helicopters that crash into the cliff are models. No budget for blowing up real 500s either.

Plot Holes? — C1 has its critics, many of whom feel the plot had holes that should have been filled. These may be the sentiments of “completists” who prefer to have all details explained. Many supposed holes amount to disbelieving the sinister government could successfully keep such secrets. For example, the disappearance of Elliott. Surely someone else in the bar noticed Elliott being abducted while Robert was distracted with the poor-connection phone call? Not necessarily. A plain woman comes in and asks Elliott to help her start her car. He leaves with her. The ambush outside where no one would see. A nerd leaving with a plain woman would hardly noteworthy to other bar patrons. Robert did not ask around the bar, probably because he thought Elliott simply left on his own. Yes, a lot of people would have to be “in on” the conspiracy, but they do not all have to know everything. The woman who took over Elliott’s apartment, for instance, knows she has only been there a few days. She has been told to lie, perhaps with her family similarly threatened, but need not know why she has to lie.

Rushed Ending? — Some criticize the happy slo-mo ending as too rushed. Movie audiences like happy endings. Studios give them to them. Yes, there could have been a darker ending where the government won after all — like a sniper taking out Bru and Robert with the cover story of a terrorist look-alike intent to bring anguish to the poor widow, etc. etc. But as much as the 70s were rife with distrust of the government, the people still want to imagine that they “win” in the end. Hope is hardly a plot failing.

Bottom line? C1 is a must-see. Even people who do not care for sci-fi can appreciate the conspiracy-thriller aspect. C1 is very 70s film, oozing with 70s conspiracy mythos. The action is plentiful and the writing has wit. The acting is good (if sometimes a bit too ‘colorful’). C1 is worth hunting down.

The Alien Factor

Baltimore’s amateur/indie filmmaker, Don Dohler, wrote, produced and directed this obscure sci-fi film. The Alien Factor (TAF) was Dohler’s first feature film project. It was shot locally, with a mostly local amateur cast. Wikipedia states that TAF had a budget of only $3,800, which seems much too low. The monster costumes alone could have cost that much. Yet, there is no denying that TAF was a very low budget film. Don would go on to create several low-B grade indie horror films in the early 80s, developing something of a cult following. TAF was his first major film project.

Quick Plot Synopsis
An alien craft crashes on earth, outside of Perry Hall, Maryland. A young couple out ‘parking’ in the woods are attacked by an insect-man-creature. Rex is killed, but MaryJane screams a lot and escapes. Sheriff Jack (modeled after Dennis Weaver’s McCloud) and Doc Sherman think it must have been a bear or bobcat. A different alien takes on human form (sort of). Another couple in the woods separate when she spurns his advances. She stumbles upon a lumpy space ship and the semi-human alien. She runs and badly injures herself, but the semi-human heals her. Three restless young men decide to hunt the killer animal. (Side note: Dohler himself plays one of the doomed youth: Ernie. He’s the one with the white-guy afro.) They are attacked and killed by the insectoid too. Only the girl escapes. (we’re told later that high-pitched noises hurt the insectoid, so screaming girls repel it.) Cut to a low-rent bar with a generic rock band (Atlantis) taking their one shot at the big time, which did not pan out. A man leaves the bar, goes home, and gets killed in his basement by a tall hairy monster. Another man is attacked outside his home by an invisible monster. Some children find him, a dried up mummy-corpse. Sheriff Jack wants to call in the State Police over the murders. Mayor Bert wants to keep the bad news under wraps, lest it scuttle his pending “deal” for an amusement park development. Jack reluctantly agrees. Meanwhile, Bert is visited by a man named Ben who says he’s from the observatory. He wants to investigate. Bert, eager for quiet fixes, agrees to let him. They go in the woods and discover the space ship and a dying alien who does a mind transfer to Ben before dying. No one believes their story, since the space ship blew up. But, Jack agrees to let Ben try to get the ‘animals’ first. Edie, the town reporter, goes into the woods with a gas can to try to burn the aliens. She and Steve are chased by the insectoid. Before it can kill them, it is killed by Ben using high frequency sounds. Mayor Bert is killed by the tall hairy alien. Jack and others investigate and are almost killed by the hairy one. Ben shoots it with a poison dart made from the insectoid’s venom. Jack finds out that the observatory knows nothing about this Ben. Edie is traipsing around in the woods alone again when a semi-transparent reptile alien. Ben fights with it, eventually triumphing. Ben survives but is weakened such that his human disguise is gone. Edie can’t see him well, but sets him up for lots of loose-thread tidying questions so Ben can exposit. Ben is an alien sent to earth to hunt down the three escaped zoo specimens who escaped when their transport ship crashed on earth. He came to save the people of Perry Hall from the monsters. Edie sees Ben’s true (ugly) alien self and screams. Jack instinctively shoots whatever makes women scream, killing Ben. Poignancy. The End.

Why is this movie fun?
Because it is a bold effort by a bunch of non-Hollywood types to make a movie themselves. The result is clearly not up to “Hollywood” levels of polish, but one cannot help but admire Don and his group’s ambition. Since it is SUCH an amateur production, everything in the film — the hair styles, the clothes, the cars, the bar, the houses, just scream Small Town 70s!

Cultural Connection
Homemade Movies — Before videotape technology trickled down to the consumer level, there as Super 8. Introduced in the mid-60s, Super 8 was initially a silent film product — the source of those silent birthday party and vacation films that parents would bore their guests with. In the mid-70s, Kodak added a magnetic tape strip for instant synchronized sound. Suddenly, the masses had an inexpensive technology to create “real” movies. Amateur Spielbergs were empowered. Videotape would eventually replace Super 8, but the videotape generation did not have the same DIY ethos of Dohler’s Super 8 age group. The advent of CGI would take movie magic back away from the hands of the common man. The 80s will be THE era for grassroots movie making.

Notes
Cinemagic — Don Dohler was the publisher of a small quarterly called Cinemagic Magazine. Issues contained how-to articles on making space ship models, making monster masks and recipes for the best on-screen blood. Dohler and his circle of friends had the zeal of youth. They felt that with a bit of skill here and there and a large dose of audacity, just about anyone could create a reasonably good sci-fi or horror film. Cinemagic had a regular section to announce and promote indie projects. The late 70s and early 80s certainly did not lack for amateur ambition. TAF was Dohler’s chance to prove that the average Joe could make movies too.

Meet The Monsters — Only the third monster is identified by name in the script. It is the 2-legged, tailed reptilian beast that is only semi-visible. Ben identifies it as a Leemoid. The hairy monster and insect-man are identified in the end credits as a Zagatile and Inferbyce, respectively. Their names do not matter to the plot. This is just a nerdy detail.

Commoner Casting — Most of the people who acted in TAF were locals who had never been in a film before, and never were again. It shows. They look and act like ordinary folks — not all made up and costumed per the Hollywood norm. The credits call out “Johnny Walker” as a guest star. He played Rex, the first to die from the Inferbyce, so had very little screen time. Walker had some minor roles in a few episodes of “Hawaii Five-O,” so amounted to the cast’s one “professional.” Some of the cast would become Dohler’s regular acting pool, getting roles in others of his low-budget indie films.

TAF Times Two — In 1982, Dohler would produce a remake of TAF. Nightbeast would use much the same story line, same setting and even repeating some of the characters, such as Sheriff Jack, Doc Sherman, MaryJane and Mayor Bert. The remake would have only one alien monster who crash lands outside of a small Maryland town and goes on a rampage of killing, etc. etc.

Bottom line? TAF could easily be panned as worse than Ed Wood might have created, but like Wood’s efforts, there is an earnestness that is compelling. That doesn’t make TAF a good film. It’s not. It’s quite bad, actually. Far too much footage is spent watching people walk through the woods past a fixed camera. Yet, Dohler manages some bursts of effort, such as the forced perspective shot of the model space ship, and some camera angles, that feel like a Little League base hit. Run Don, Run! One has to admire his spunk. Film making is hard work. For all those who kvetch about the quality, go make a movie yourself. See how well you can do. Don’s work might look pretty good then.
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Deathsport

Roger Corman tried to create a sequel to his moderately successful Death Race 2000 (’75) with Deathsport (DS) The setting was also in the dystopian post-apocalyptic future and featured gladiatorial-style combat via vehicles. This time, however, it was dirt bikes. David Carradine stars, Claudia Jennings co-stars. A dozen or so Yamaha dirt bikes, dressed up with welded aluminum faces also co-star as the over-hyped “death machines”. DS had several writers and several directors, and it shows. SEE many things explode. HEAR the stars speak in psuedo-zen aphorisms. MARVEL at mighty dirt bikes! But, be patient.

Quick Plot Synopsis
A thousand years after the neutron wars, the world is divided up into city states. Between them lies desert wastes call The Range. Kaz Oshay (Carradine) is a Range Guide — a sort of High Plains Drifer cum Jedi knight. Deneer (Jennings) is a female Range Guide. The ruler of the city state of Helix has his men capture Kaz and Deneer so he can have men on his much-vaunted Death Machines (dirt bikes) kill the Guides in gladiatorial combat. This, to prove to the people of Helix that he has a super weapon so they can win a war against another city state, Tritan. Lord Zirpola also has a brain tumor and is going off the rails. After much pointless footage, the dirt bike battle begins, but Kaz and Deneer not only prevail, they escape. Ankar Moor, Zirpola’s dressed-in-black lieutenant, purses them with still more dirt bikes. After a long chase with lots of dash-cam footage from the dirt bike’s POV, there are some battles and skirmishes. Kaz and Deneer detour to save a little girl taken by mutants. While Deneer and the girl press on to the city of Tritan, Kaz and Ankor have their much-hyped duel with glass swords. Ankor loses his head. Deneer comes to Kaz with some horses, they ride off into the sunset. The End,

Why is this movie fun?
If one is fond of seeing fireball special effects, and things blowing up, DS will be an entertaining film. Quite a few times, things blow up for no apparent good reason. The dialogue is unintentionally funny.

Cultural Connection
Nightmare to Fantasy — As lame a movie as DS is, it is still one of the early examples the shift in how the culture viewed the nuclear apocalypse. Instead of being seen as a terrible fate, the apocalypse would wipe away the old world (which prior generations controlled) and usher in a new blank slate in which the young, buff and beautiful could live idyllic lives. Fantasy notions of stone age, or medieval life could mix with technology. This proved to be a popular formula for films in the 80s (think Mad Max and variants), as the late Boomers, eary-GenXers could fantasize about romantic simplicity, yet still have their techno-toys.

Notes
Conan and the Dirt Bike — As befitting the fantasy mix of old and new, the hero (Carradine) runs around in a fur-hooded cape (for warmth?) and a loin cloth. He carries a big glass sword (a “whistler”), and gets to woo the beautiful blond in a leather bikini (and a matching glass sword). YET, he also gets to tear up the desert on a dirt bike, doing jumps and tricks AND see lots of stuff blow up. DS is a Chex Party Mix of adolescent male fantasies.

Film Fads — There must have been something in the water in the late 70s. This is the third film — almost in a row — in which there were (1) many fireball explosions filmed from multiple angles and played back numerous times, and (2) rolling rubber heads. Did someone publish a study in the mid 70s that said audiences wanted to see rubber heads rolling around? Melting Man, Fury and now DS all had rubber heads rolling around.

Fireball Fun — Roger George is credited with the pyrotechnics. He and the aluminum welder appear to have gotten the bulk of the budget. Watch for how many dirt bikes blow up and go sailing into the air. Watch for the chase through the fuel factory. It is a pointless scene as far as the plot goes, but it allows George the opportunity to burn many things and stage several explosions. The multiple oil barrels set must have been a favorite.

Weapons of Mass Indifference — Perhaps the writer and/or directors had a fascination for dirt bikes which transcended reality. How else to explain mere dirt bikes as supposedly terrifying and war-winning “Death Machines”? The dozen or so Yamaha bikes were dressed up with some welded aluminum face plates and some add-on tubes. They were overdubbed to make sounds like Imperial tie-fighters so they did not sound like a pack of angry chainsaws. But, as a terror weapon, the dirt bike fails miserably. If a rock or a patch of sand can stop your Death Machine, how terrible is it, really? Audiences were unimpressed too.

Type 2 Sequel — Roger Corman produced DS, and appears to have been trying to find out just how cheaply a film could be produced. DS is fashioned as a sequel to Death Race 2000, though not as a Type 1 sequel. The storyline or characters of DS do not continue that of DR2K. Instead, DS is a repeat of the formula in a new place, with new characters and subtle tweaks. It is another motorized sport-to-the-death imposed by a tyrant in a post-apocalyptic world.

If You Can’t Be Good, Get Naked — Corman must have seen that DS was turning out to be a milk toast film. In a flagrant attempt to boost ticket sales he inserts two scenes of full-frontal nudity. The first is with Jennings. (the torture by string lights scene). He repeats this, for little good reason, with a second young woman who dances erotically for Lord Zirpola. Corman knew his flim was no good, so his only hope was to include naked women. Even that was not sufficient to save DS.

No Third Film — Plans were, for there to be a third film in the “Death” series — DeathWorld. This third film was abandoned when DS turned out to be a box-office dud. Perhaps one could justify a third film on the grounds that it simply had to be better, but this logic may not have wooed funding.

Bottom line? DS is a very poor film. The writing is insipid. The directing testifies that all three directors did not quite know what sort of film they were making. Carradine is bland as Conan the Dirt Biker. Jennings is okay. Lynch is at least a melodramatic villain (in his Goth black with studs). There are fans of the post-apocalyptic fantasy world genre. They might be amused with DS as an early example. Other viewers may find boredom or annoyance in lieu of amusement.

The Fury

Twentieth Century Fox put out an A-level thriller/horror film in March of 1978 that is sometimes tagged as being sci-fi. The Fury actually has very little sci in its fi. Paranormal powers are on parade. Brian DePalma directs. Kirk Douglas stars as the father looking for his abducted son. Andrew Stevens plays Robin, the abducted teen. Amy Irving plays Gillian, the paranormal young woman. John Cassavetes plays the sinister agent.

Quick Plot Synopsis
Peter and his son Robin enjoy their extended vacation in a middle eastern port city. Peter’s coworker friend Childress gets a phone call. Seconds later, a band of gunmen wearing keffiyeh appear and start shooting bystanders. In the chaos, Childress whisks Robin to safety. Peter is thought to be killed, but comes back to find Childress chatting with the gunmen. Peter shoots Childress in the arm and flees. Childress and the Agency men search for Peter. They almost capture him, but Peter escapes in Chicago. Meanwhile in Chicago, there is Paragon Institute for the paranormal. 17 year old Gillian has come to better understand her “gift”. She is able to make people bleed and she sees visions. One of those visions is of Robin at Paragon. The Agency is secretly in charge of Paragon, and takes an interest in Gillian. She gets visions of Peter being subjected to uncomfortable tests. A nurse at Paragon, Hester, is Peter’s clandestine girlfriend. She tells Peter that Gillian might be able to lead him to Robin. She arranges for Gillian to not be sedated and escape. In her escape to Peter (posing as a cabbie), Peter shoots a few Agency men. Hester is struck by one of their cars and dies. On a long bus ride, Gillian tells Peter where to find Robin. He wants to go alone, but she comes with him anyhow. Robin is being kept in a fine mansion, but his telekinetic powers are giving him uncontrolled rages. As Peter and Gillian find the mansion, Robin goes into one of his rages. He controls the body of Dr.Charles, his pseudo-friend and captor. He elevates her off the floor, makes her spin around and spew blood from ears, eyes, nose and just about everywhere. Robin throws two guards out the window via telekinesis. Peter and Gillian are captured by other guards. Childress lets Peter go see his son. Robin, still in his blind power rage, attacks his father. They fall out a window on the roof. Peter holds Robin by one hand as he hangs off the roof. Robin attacks Peter, so Robin falls to the pavement below. Peter slips and falls to his death. Robin, not quite dead, is held by Gillian. His eyes glow blue. Hers do too. He dies. Later, Childress is talking all nice and paternally to Gillian — the Agency’s replacement for Robin as mind-weapon for study. She plays the fragile young girl, but turns on Childress. Her eyes glow blue. She controls his body via telekinesis, making him convulse so badly that he actually explodes all over the room. The End.

Why is this movie fun?
As a spy thriller, there are many plot twists and parallel threads to keep the mind interested. Brian DePalma keeps the pace brisk most of the time and sets up some nice visuals. The acting is reasonably solid too.

Cultural Connection
ESP Fad — Even though Extrasensory Perception had been around since the 1930s, it had to wait until the 1970s to become “mainstream.” The amorphous spiritualism that would later be called New Age, also existed for a long time before the 70s. Both benefited from the strong counterculture movement of the 60s which was eager to reject everything of the prior generation and embrace just about anything their elders rejected. As such, ESP, belief in the paranormal and New Age spiritualism blended and found ready audiences in the late 70s. Mix in the traditional 70s paranoia about secretive government agencies, and Fury is a product of its times.

Notes
Buckets of Blood — As adapted to film, John Ferris’s story took on the grabber d’jour of the 70s: buckets of “blood.” In this, Fury is almost more of a horror film than anything. Rick Baker, who gave audiences the slimy-gross make up in The Incredible Melting Man just a year earlier, provided the bloody special effects. This even repeats the visual of a falling rubber head after Childress explodes.

Once Is Not Enough — The director of the cheesy B-movie Laserblast tried to get his money’s worth out of each exploding car, by filming the effect from various angles and repeating the explosion several times. One should not waste a good explosion, apparently. DePalma does the same thing when Childress explodes. He could not just let that spectacularly gory effect be over in a half second and be done. Someone might miss it. So, DePalma had the exploding manikin filmed from many angles and played them all back, most in slow motion, just to make sure his audience got his money’s worth out of the effect.

Carrie II — DePalma had directed his more famous film, Carrie just two years before. It had a similar theme of a young woman with startling special powers, who can kill with them. The similarity has not been lost on DePalma fans, who see Fury as a sort of sequel to Carrie — even though the stories are unrelated. The girl-with-mind-powers trope is sufficient.

Power Corrupts — Another feature that Fury has with Laserblast is the notion that immense power tends to turn mere humans into monsters. Even the film’s title points to the problem. Instead of an arm cannon, the power in Fury is paranormal. Yet, it is still just as deadly, and just as soul-consuming and corrupting. Robin becomes unable to control his rages, even turning on his father. Gillian, without any real knowledge of who Childress is and what he wants, rather quickly and summarily kills him in a rage of her own. This theme lurks in the background of another late 70s film, Nothing But The Night. The late 70s seemed worried about power in immature hands.

Aborted Moral — At one point, the Dr. Jim character delivers what is supposed to be the pathos moral of the story: “There’s no place for these kids in our culture. What a culture can’t assimilate, it destroys.” Poor kids, right? But note how the story casts the ‘kids’ as equally capable of destroying. In this, Ferris’s story has affinities to H.G.Wells’ “Food of the gods.” (The book, not the film) The “poor kids” become giants with much destructive power. Perhaps “our culture” was not so off-base in fearing them. Neither the sinister government nor the furious teens come off as sympathetic parties.

Bottom line? Fury is a complex spy thriller with bloody horror elements. In these genre, it is fairly well regarded. There is not much of any science in the fiction. There are a few lab tests and bit of medical mumbo-jumbo, but the bulk of it requires paranormal dies ex machina. Watch it if you like spy thrillers. Watch it if you like spurting red paint. If you like sci-fi with saucers, aliens, rocket ship or monsters, Fury won’t be all that satisfying.

The Amazing Captain Nemo

Irwin Allen tried one more time to get an underwater sci-fi adventure series on television. This time, Allen would revive the legendary Captain Nemo and have him go on weekly adventures aboard his amazingly modern steampunk rendition of SeaView. Warner Brothers must have had enough confidence in the idea to have funded a three-part miniseries as a sort of grand pilot for what they hoped would be a weekly series. The Return of Captain Nemo was the title of the miniseries. The studio felt there was insufficient viewer interest to merit a series. But, to recoup as much of their investment as possible, the three installments were edited together to make one film for theatrical release. This would get the title of The Amazing Captain Nemo (ACN). Jose Ferrer stars as Nemo. Burgess Meredith plays the evil villain. Linda Day George plays the eye candy.

Quick Plot Synopsis
Sinister Professor Cunningham (Meredith) tells the President of the United States that he’ll blow up Washington DC if he doesn’t get a billion dollars in gold. Meanwhile, during war game maneuvers, some navy divers discover Nautilus stuck in a deep reef and Captain Nemo in suspended animation. They turn on power and Nemo is revived. Nautilus is damaged. The Navy agrees to fix Nautilus and supply Nemo with a crew if he will stop Cunningham. Nemo goes aboard Cunningham’s sub, Raven, and is naturally captured. Cunningham exposits about his nuclear miss-aisle to blow up DC. Nemo and Franklin escape back to Nautilus where they prepare a laser cannon. When the miss-aisle is launched, they shoot it down. DC is saved! (yay?) In the ensuing sub-shaking shock waves, Raven disappears.
Raven’s damage is repaired, but needs more nuclear fuel. They get it from nuclear waste barrels dumped in the Mariana Trench. Cunningham’s drilling of the barrels causes nuclear waste leaks. Nemo wants to resume his search for Atlantis, but Miller (navy boss) urges him to check out the leaks and stop them. Nautilus travels to the trench with Dr. Cook (the expert who oversaw the dumping) and his too-lovely wife Kate (Geroge). Turns out that Cook was offered much money by Cunningham to delay Nemo. He does this, even imperiling Kate. The sabotage is discovered. Cook and Nemo fight in old-school ways. Cook dies. Raven approaches to blast Nautilus, but Nemo has a poorly explained image projector, so Cunningham files his Delta Beam at images of Nautilus, causing a cave in of the trench. This sealed in the leaking barrels. Yay. But Raven disappeared again.
Nemo resumes his search for Atlantis, and within minutes, finds it. Nautilus is trapped in a forcefield. King Tibor comes aboard. He takes Nemo to the High Council, who want Nemo imprisoned as an enemy. (Cunningham had been to Atlantis too, and was a very bad guest.) Nemo convinces them that he’s a good guy. Tibor and two assistants join Nautilus to go get Cunningham, but the crew are all frozen. Cunningham captures Nemo and Tibor. Cunningham has another plot to kill millions and rule the world. He attempts to extract all of Nemo’s secrets with a brain reader. Nemo manages to get Tom to break Cunningham’s spell, helping all to escape. Nemo blasts Raven with lasers. The world is safe. Atlantis is happy. Nautilus leaves them in peace. The End.

Why is this movie fun?
Nemo has been a staple character for decades. It’s nice to see he can still find work. The ’78 update retains some of the quaint steampunk decor, though heavily infused with “modern” blinking lights. ACN has the qualities of a 1930s serial, such as The Fighting Devil Dogs (’38) and obvious influences from Lucas’ Star Wars. Indeed, ACN almost plays out as Star Wars Underwater.

Cultural Connection
Shadow of Lucas — ACN is one of the earlier films that show influence that George Lucas’ Star Wars had on the sci-fi movie world. Note the laser battles, not the Tor character as a sort of steampunk Darth Vader (though not in a leadership position). Careful ears will note a remix of John Williams’ Star Wars themes underlaying the laser battles. The shadow of Lucas would extend of many more B-movies as the new paradigm for what sci-fi movies were expected to look like.

Notes
Dang Steam Pipes — The writers of ACN (and there were many) were fond of repeating a cliche of submarine movies: the broken steam pipe. The cliche goes like this: whenever a submarine is shaken up (depth charges, rammed by giant squid, whatever) the way to show that the sub sustained some damage is to have one or more of the abundant pipes spring a leak and start spewing a jet of steam. It does not matter if the sub is all electric, or nuclear or powered by gerbils in wheels. Whenever the sub takes a hit, a pipe will start leaking steam. The solution for the steam leak is always to crank down a valve which is always handily close to the leak. Watch for it in ACN. So many steam pipes burst that one begins to wonder why they bother having so many fragile steam pipes on high-tech submarines.

Serial Bowl — ACN was originally written as a miniseries, with aspirations of becoming a maxi-series. As such, the fairly complete story arcs for the three episodes are understandable. There is also an affinity to the style of 1930s theatrical serials, such as, Flash Gordon, Dick Tracy, The Invisible Ray, and Fighting Devil Dogs. The characters are caricatures. Nemo as the all-wise, unflappable genius hero. Cunningham as the unstable, maniacal genius intent on ruling the world. (don’t they all?). Kate, as the beautiful token lady scientist. There is the villain’s ‘army’ of soulless robots (who cannot shoot worth beans, but can be disabled with a single hit). The action in ACN is quickly paced enough to have made a good 12 chapter serial — in the 30s. Tastes in the late 70s were not so simple.

Higher Calling — Just when it seems that Cunningham will succeed, Nemo appeals to Tom’s deeply ingrained loyalty to the President of the United States. This loyalty proves stronger than Cunningham’s mind-control headband. Such devotion to government was anachronistic, even by the late 70s. It would certainly not be a credible tide-turner in the cynical 21st century.

Token Babe — Linda Day George plays the customary role of Token Babe. She is the apex of late 70s hot-ness, with her blonde feathery hair. Even though she says she is a nuclear physicist (and fashion model on weekends?), she does nothing in the plot beyond the usual damsel-in-distress and standing around looking lovely. No doubt, her role was written and cast in hopes of attracting young male viewers.

Bottom line? ACN is passable popcorn entertainment, if one does not have too high of expectations for quality. The situations and acting (especially by Meredith) are almost comic book. If one has a fondness for variations on Verne’s original, ACN can be worth watching. For most viewers, however, it’s okay for watching if it’s on TV, but necessarily worth tracking down a copy of your own.

Laserblast

Charles Band, the producer who brought the world The End of the World (’77), produced an equally obtuse sci-fi in late 1977, released in March ’78. Laserblast is the sort of film that many decry as the worst film since Manos. Yet, Laserblast seems to have its fans as well. Roddy McDowell and Keenan Wynn have small rolls. The cast is mostly obscure folk. Kim Milford stars as Billy. Cheryl Smith plays his girlfriend Kathy. Frank Ray Perilli wrote the screenplay, which explains its obtuse quality. He also wrote End of the World (’77).

Quick Plot Synopsis
Two claymation aliens track down another alien in the desert southwest. That third alien has a laser cannon on his arm. The two Clayliens disintegrate the third, then leave in their ship. They leave behind the laser blaster and the necklace that’s needed to fire it. Enter Billy, a pretty-boy 20-something whose mother is a stewardess that would rather be in Acapulco than home with him. Billy is supposed to be an oppressed youth. His girlfriend’s grandfather (Wynn) is mean to him. The two deputy sheriffs abuse him. A couple of local jerk boys taunt and mock him. Poor Billy. While Billy is driving his old Chevy van on a desert dirt road, he comes across the laser blaster and necklace. He eventually figures it out and blows up some bushes. Back in town, Billy and Kathy attend a pool-side birthday party for Frannie. After several doses of juvenile humor, the party breaks up. Billy looks for Kathy, only to find the jerk boys trying to molest her. He stops them, but gets beat up too. Later, Billy puts on the blaster, his face gets all green, his teeth pointy and he has on white contact lenses: the Evil Alien look. Billy blows up the jerk’s old Buick convertible. A mysterious man in a 3-piece suit comes to down in a black Cadillac. He’s important enough that the Sheriff calls him sir. The mysterious Mr. Craig wants everyone rounded up for questioning. The deputies are mean to Billy again. Mr. Craig suspects Billy. Billy dons the blaster later and blows up the deputies (One in an outhouse). Evil-Billy shuffles out of town. He blows up the jerks too, in their new car ( a red '55 Chevy two-ten). Meanwhile, the Clayliens have been reprimanded by their commander for leaving the blaster on earth. They are sent back to fetch it. While Evil-Billy skulks around the desert, a plane flies low, looking for people to shoot. (illegal immigrants? Drug runners?) They spot Billy and shoot at him with a full-auto M16. Billy blows up the plane. Billy gets picked up by a hippy in his VW van. Billy blasts the hippy and drives his van to a studio backlot, urban set. He blows up a phone booth, a parked Oldsmobile, a mailbox and a newspaper stand. This last, was apparently the final straw. The Clayliens zap Billy with a pink and blue beam. The blaster disappears. Billy drops to the curb. Kathy comes up to his lifeless body and lays her head on his shoulder. Freeze frame, roll credits. The End.

Why is this movie fun?
For those who like non-mainstream story telling, Laserblast has that incongruous quality of “art” in the rough. (really rough) McDowell and Wynn are good in their minor rolls. The claymation of David Allen is actually pretty decent for a non-Harryhausen. Cheryl Smith, the slender blonde, with long legs and a knack for the vulnerable waif look, is at least easy on the eyes.

Cultural Connection
Disturbed Killers — A sort of tragic relevance to Laserblast is its basic story of a “troubled” young male who takes deadly revenge on his supposed oppressors. Isla Vista, Aurora, Columbine are just the latest examples of the real world version of this. Sadly, such mass killings by unstable people are not all that new. The 70s had its share of pointless rage bloodshed too.

Notes
Art Nugget — Despite the weak acting, pointless pyro-pandering and fragmented storyline, there may be a touch of literary raison d’etre in the script. Consider the laser blaster as metaphor for unlimited (destructive) power. Billy is the Icarus who shows us what happens when people get such power, how power, once wielded, becomes a narcotic. Perhaps in the hands of less slap-dash producers, Perilli’s script might have risen to something a bit more noble, instead of something rather small, wrapped in many layers of bacon.

Timeless Pandering — In addition to the usual sexual innuendo, hints of soft porn and mocking authorities, the most prevalent pander in Laserblast is blowing things up. Playing to that subset of adolescent males’ penchant for pointless rage, the producers and director blow up many things. In fact, the lion’s share of the fiim’s budget is devoted to the fiery destruction of several cars (each repeated several times in a sort of bomb-porn revel), an outhouse, a gas station, a pinball machine, a phone booth, a mailbox and a newspaper stand.

Giggle Talk — Sprinkled within Perilli’s script are lame sexual innuendos. At the pool party, Chuck and Froggy grill hotdogs and announce, “Get your red hot franks here.” A bikini babe saunters up. Chuck says he’d like to give her his red hot frank. Giggle. Later, same babe straddles Billy on the chaise lounge (and she’s topless at this point too), and offers him a hotdog. “Wanna bite?” she says. Giggle. Then there is the sheriff’s secretary who is loudly typing. He asks what she’s doing. “Oh, just bangin’ away,” she quips. Giggle. Actually, the secretary is played by Franne Schacht, who is listed as one of the writers. To what extent is fairly questionable. Perhaps she wrote her one line.

Untroubled — The script wants to portray Billy as the poor troubled lad (who vents his rage at his oppressors). But Billy had it made. Look at his life from a teen boy’s perspective. His only parent is away most of the time. Party! His mom is well off enough that Billy does not seem to need a job, or go to school. He has his own van. (This IS the 70s) He has a pretty blonde girlfriend eager to smooch. She lives with an old man as sharp as an eggplant, so easy to outwit. His chief rivals appear to be a dim-witted jerk and a nerd. How bad is Billy’s life? This is oppression?

Beast of Blasta Flats — There seems to be an homage to 1961’s Beast of Yucca Flats inserted into the script, for no plot-advancing reason. Two men with badges on their hats, fly over the desert in a Cessna 172, armed with a machine gun. They scan the desert for someone to shoot. Why? At least in Beast, the men knew they were searching for a killer. In Laserblast, they seem to just routinely patrol the desert to shoot people. Illegal immigrants? Drug runners? There is no point. The scene as homage at least makes some sense.

Pocket Full of Parallels — For no apparent reason than scriptwriter fun, Laserblast has some pairs of parallels to muse over. Consider Pete and Jesse, the two inept deputies and the Clayliens: Turtle 1 and Turtle 2, the bumbling enforcer aliens who leave the blaster behind. Consider Chuck and Froggy as a civilian match for Pete and Jesse. Consider the sheriff sniper in the plane as micro parallel to Evil-Billy. Note the simian celebrations of both after a “kill”. Then too, consider the Turtle aliens at the end, who successfully gun down Billy from on high — precisely what the Cessna men were trying to do too.

Take THAT, Lucas — An amusing cheap shot of rivalry occurs when Evil-Billy rides by a crude, simple sign with the Star Wars logo on it. Evil-Billy blasts it to papery bits. Take THAT, George Lucas! Director Michael Rae sure showed him!.

Bottom line? Laserblast is a low-grade B movie that might have been more interesting, but was too obsessed with blowing things up to focus on much else. It is not as bad as Manos, but it is not all that good either. It is worthy of its MST3K lampooning. The bots were fairly kind to it. Laserblast can suffice for low quality entertainment in the uncut version, provided viewers don’t expect Lucas, Spielberg, or even Corman.